


Last Christmas

by TheRavynFire



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Complicated Relationships, F/M, Holiday Fic Exchange, Mentions of Smut, Winterprincessholidayexchange, this is super late I am soooo sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22094539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRavynFire/pseuds/TheRavynFire
Summary: But of course she sees him again, on her first visit to New York no less, she happens to run into him in the last place she’d expected him to be. She hadn’t bothered to check and see where he ended up after he’d left with Steve, but after his quiet life in Wakanda she didn’t think he’d want to live in a bustling city like New York. She certainly didn't think that he would be jogging in the park at 12-something am if he did.If she wasn’t so angry she’d say it was fate.But she is angry.No, livid.*For the holiday prompt: Last Christmas I gave you my heart (I’m just really late)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Shuri
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Last Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malaiikka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malaiikka/gifts).



> Hi! 
> 
> First let me apologize for how late this is. Having four family members from out of state show up unexpectedly at your door three days before christmas as a “Christmas surprise” and tell you they plan to stay till New Years puts a serious intrusion on your house and writing time.
> 
> So again I am sooo sorry this is late. I haven’t even gotten to read the one you wrote for me. 
> 
> Secondly, as much as I love to read it, I’ve never written Bucky/Shuri before so be gentle with me please. 
> 
> Hopefully you like this. And I’m sorry (for the millionth time) again!

Sneaking out of her hotel room was easier than she had expected it to be. 

When she went on trips abroad her brother and mother insisted she be watched like a hawk and the Dora obliged of course. 

She had grown close to her personal guards, Onyeka and Nailah, and could at times persuade them to be lax in their duties at home, but while away from home it was quite the opposite. 

They treated her as though she were porcelain, fragile, naive. Too young to be away from her mother and the protection of the palace. Too young to experience the real world. 

But she was nearing twenty three years of age, visiting the city of New York during the holiday season, after being invited to be a guest lecturer at Columbia, and she’d had to practically beg to be allowed to do that. 

Ultimately her mother was easier to convince than T’Challa had been, but she’d won them over with promises of her guards being at her sides at all times and adhering to a strict schedule and curfew. 

And the first three days of her trip had been busy with the lecturing and meet and greets with staff and students, and visiting the various sites that interested her, but things had drastically slowed down on her last day. 

There was no lecture as schools had been let out for winter break and she’d crammed all the site seeing that she could into those first three days. It was now Christmas Eve and she was left with nothing to do on her final night in New York, which gave her the thing she dreaded most...free time. 

She refused to spend another second in her hotel room, reading or researching for her latest project. She’d been fiddling with the idea of changing T’Challas suit again, trying to improve it, make it lighter, more flexible, even though he insisted it was fine as is. 

She’d been in her hotel room all day, save for a trip to lunch with Onyeka and Nailah, but felt that she had to get out of the room again.  It was starting to feel like a prison.  She wanted to go out into the fresh air. She wanted to feel the snow fall on her face. To walk through the streets of New York and the paths of Central Park and people watch and take in the Christmas decorations.

Most of all she wanted to do anything, but lay in bed and think of  _ him. _

And she wanted to do all these things without her motherly guards following her around. 

So after checking in with her mother and telling Onyeka and Nailah that her evening plans were to take a long hot bath and pack for her morning flight, she excused herself to her room and waited for them to do the same. They stood vigilant outside her door for about two hours, no doubt waiting for her to do her bathing packing and fall asleep, before they retired themselves. She’d given them no reason to think she’d sneak out, she’d adhered to her schedule and curfew, maintained her princess like behavior, so they were trusting of her. 

And it allowed her to slip out with ease. 

The city was still as busy as in the day, the streets filled with people despite the light snowfall and the late hour. 

Soon she found herself in Central Park, surprised by the amount of late night joggers and strollers that had the same idea as her. 

It was there that she saw him, running along the path, adorned in sweats and a hoodie far too thin for the cold temperature for any  _ normal _ person. He ran like it was easy, his body fluid, breath even and not heaving as she’d seen in the other joggers. He wasn’t hard to spot, not even in the near darkness. She’d recognize him anywhere. Long hair, shiny blue eyes, stubble lined jaw. He was the same. He hadn’t changed. 

He stopped in his tracks the moment they made eye contact, almost tripping over his own feet, eyes wide with surprise. 

She stopped too, feeling her breath catch in her throat, and having to resist the strong urge to turn and run while her stomach flipped.

It had been nearly a year since she’d seen him last, nearly a year since he had ripped her heart from her body and shattered it into a million pieces. 

Pieces that she was still struggling to put back together.

They’d had one blissful year together before the fall. Their friendship slowly blossoming over the years into something much more until one day it had fully bloomed, culminating in a chaste kiss in her lab. Their relationship had to be a secret of course, but to her that only added to it all. 

Secrecy only ramped up the passion, tension, and fire. Knowing that he and their relationship was hers and hers alone, got her hotter than anything ever had.

He’d made her wait of course. Scared to rush things and ever worried that she would ‘come to her senses’ and change her mind about how she felt about him. 

It was only kisses at first, the ones that seemed to last forever and stole her breath while simultaneously flooding her with fire. It took a month before they progressed to touching and then tasting. It was months of doing everything, but actual intercourse, of him bringing her to orgasm with his mouth and/or fingers, which always left her temporarily satiated, but still wanting with a frustrating intensity.

Six months in he finally allowed her to give herself to him completely, making love to her, slow and sweet, in the privacy of his cabin. 

She knew then that there would never be anyone else. 

And she was determined to hold onto him no matter the consequence.

Each stolen moment in her bedroom or lab or his cabin was a gift. A gift that she had treasured. 

And he had torn it all apart. 

_ We can’t do this anymore. Our luck is going to run out. Someone will find out. You’ll get in trouble, and your brother...I love you too much to let this destroy you, Sugar.  _

Those words had nearly broken her entirely.

She knew that he was doing it because he was worried about her, her image, what her brother and mother would think, what her people would think. She hadn’t cared about any of it, she would have done anything for him, gone anywhere to be with him, would have gladly left it all behind if it meant that they were together. 

But he did care.

He’d left the next morning, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson arriving on the quinjet to take him back to the states. She’d refused to say goodbye to him or go to the launch pad to see him off. She’d locked herself in her lab, poured herself into her research and projects instead. 

That’s what she’d been doing since he’d left. Wakandan technology, and her people by extension, had flourished because of it, but her pride in that paled in comparison to what she’d lost no matter what she told herself. 

And here he stood in front of her, looking like he was staring at a ghost. 

“Shuri,” he breathed. He finally tore his wide eyes from her and looked around, frowning. “Where are your guards?”

She scoffed. Of course that would be his first question. 

“I am a big girl, James. I can take a stroll in the park without an escort,” she answered crisply, raising her chin. 

His eyes narrowed at her using his real name, not calling him Bucky or Ingcuka, like she had before. “I think your brother and mother would disagree.” 

“Luckily for you, it is no longer your concern,” she repeated definitively.

He made that face, that face that told her he was resigned to this current battle. She’d once found it adorable. She currently found it grating on her nerves. 

“You look good,” he complimented after seconds passed, no doubt trying to fill the silence in the air.

Her eyes rolled and she shook her head. “Is that all you have to say? After all this time?”

His face fell then right into confusion. “What?”

“I happen to be in New York and run into you and you want to make small talk?” She stepped towards him irritably. “‘You look good’ as if that is supposed to make everything all right?”

“Is that all  _ I _ have to say?” He touched his chest. “I’ve been calling you and writing you and doing damn near everything but coming back-.”

“And that’s the problem isn’t it! You  _ left _ in the first place!” She snapped feeling her blood begin to boil. 

Apparently she was skipping the formalities and getting right to the argument, something she told herself that she would never do again,  _ if _ she saw him again.

But of course she sees him again, on her first visit to New York no less, she happens to run into him in the last place she’d expected him to be. She hadn’t bothered to check and see where he ended up after he’d left with Steve, but after his quiet life in Wakanda she didn’t think he’d want to live in a bustling city like New York. She certainly didn't think that he would be jogging in the park at 12-something am if he did. 

If she wasn’t so angry she’d say it was fate. 

But she is angry. 

No,  _ livid. _

She had ignored his letters and calls. Not bothering to even open them before sending a few back and throwing the others in the trash. She didn’t want to hear what he had to say if it wasn’t said to her face. She felt she deserved that much.

His face fell again, the anger in his eyes dwindling down and there’s nothing in his eyes, but an apology. His blue eyes are shining with it and she hates how much she misses him in that moment, shoves that desire to run into his arms back down deep inside of herself and crosses her arms over her chest instead. 

“Sugar-.”

“Don’t call me that!” She interjected. He wasn’t allowed to. Not anymore. 

His mouth opens and closes then opens again with a sigh. “ _ Shuri,  _ I told you-.”

“Yes, yes, you told me. You made it very clear. You made a decision without consulting me. Without asking me what  _ I wanted _ ,” she shakes her head again, takes a sudden interest in her feet. “You decided on your own what was best for me just like everyone else.”

He’d left on December 26th, the day after Christmas, the day after she’d celebrated Christmas with him as was his american custom. He’d spent the weeks before teaching her about it all and getting her excited for it. She downloaded Christmas songs to play, helped him decorate his cabin, got the closest looking thing to. Christmas tree they could and listened eagerly when he told her of his family's traditions. He’d even gotten her a gift, it was wrapped pitifully, but it was the thought that counted to her.

She’d told him she’d loved him that night, Christmas night, had offered over her heart and it had scared him. 

And he’d left the very next day. 

She’d forever hate the holidays because of that.

She felt an almost overwhelming sadness at the thought of it.

“ _ Last Christmas I gave you my heart and the very next day you threw it away,”  _ she whispered with a sigh, her head dropping. 

They’d heard the song from the Christmas playlist she’d found and put on during their private celebration. She’d found the song incredibly sad and wondered why it would be included on a playlist with the likes of Jingle Bell Rock and Here Comes Santa Claus. 

It was ironic how fitting it ended up being. 

“What?” he asked with an arched eyebrow. 

She looked up then, angry all over again. “Just like the song,” she explained. “We have a beautiful night, you seem happy, I tell you I love you and then you take the heart I offer you and stomp on it!”

Bucky looked like someone had punched him in the gut, his face falling and his body taking an unconscious step toward her. His hands raised as if he intended to take her into his arms then dropped again. 

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

She believed that. But it didn’t change that he had. 

“And still you did.” 

He said nothing, just stood there with remorse written all over his face. 

And she’d had enough. 

“Goodbye James.” 

She turned on her heel walking as fast as she could without running in the opposite direction.

A part of her hoped he would follow, that he would grab her by the arm and spin her around before kissing her senseless.

That he would apologize for being an  _ idiot _ . 

In what feels like the blink of an eye she was standing at the entrance to the park again. He hadn’t made so much as a peep when she walked away.  And she hadn't bothered to look back. 

Tears stung her eyes and she blinked rapidly to rid her eyes of them. She’d told herself months ago that she wouldn’t be crying over him any longer. Yet they fell anyway, despite her blinking and inner scoldings.

“We’re not doing this,” she mutters to herself, tightening her crossed arms and breathing in deep. “We’re not doing this. We’re not doing this,” s he repeats in a whispered mantra. “We said no more crying over that fool.”

“Shuri.”

It’s her turn to be startled. She spun around, nearly giving herself whiplash and sending the world spiraling around her before her vision focused and he’s right behind her. Close enough that she stumbles back a step in surprise and wonders how she hadn’t heard him. 

Bucky’s hands shot out to catch her by the arms, ensuring she doesn’t fall and bringing her close again. She wants to shove him, slap him, curse him, make him regret ever leaving her, but all she can do is stare up at him breathless and wide eyed. 

“I love you,” he admits, blue eyes shining in the low light of the park lamps. “I always have and I always will. I left because I wanted to protect you, but living this past year without you…” he paused to close his eyes and shake his head. 

She leaned in unconsciously, eager to hear more, their faces inches apart. 

“You were right and I was wrong,” he finishes with a soft sigh, as though saying it has taken some weight off of him. “I was scared and I was a fool.”

It’s everything she wants to hear. It’s everything she already knew. A part of her wants to make this hard on him the way the past year has been hard on her, but she can’t bring herself to. Rather she pulls him to her, kissing him hard and holding him steady by the front of his hoodie. He kisses her back with a fierceness, stealing her breath just as she’d wanted, igniting and stoking a fire within her. 

She doesn’t remember how they get back to her hotel room nor does she care who sees their return. She’s too lost in him, his touch, his kiss, his taste, to be worried about being caught. 

Their clothes are strewn about, the sheets are tangled around them, and the early light of dawn is peeking in through the windows by the time they come up for air. 

Her flights in three hours and she knows Onyeka and Nailah will be knocking on her door to take her to the airport soon. 

Reality crashes down on her then, and she’s scared that this was all a dream, that she’ll be blink and wake up to find herself alone in bed. 

Five testing blinks and he’s still there, his eyelids heavy with sleep, lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling with a sleepy smile on his lips. 

“What now?” She asked tentatively, raising her head from his chest to look at him. 

He sucks in a breath, licks his lips and sighs. “Now we go back to Wakanda and tell your brother and mother about us.”

Her heart soars in her chest and she can’t suppress the smile that overtakes her face. “And then?”

“We hope they don’t murder me and that they give us their blessing.”

She’s scared to ask the next question, but she does anyway. “And if they don’t?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, Sugar. But I’ll do whatever it takes to be together.”

Three rapid knocks at her door startles them both. Nailah’s voice sounds through the door speaking to her in Xhosa. 

“ _ We must leave in 30 minutes your Highness _ .” 

She reluctantly sits up, pushing her braids from her face and looks down at Bucky, studying his face for signs of fear or that he’s second guessing his decision. She thankfully sees none. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, she didn't think a single person would be in favor of the relationship, but they’d find a way. 

“Are we really doing this?” She asks softly. 

He smirks and sits up with her. “Yes, your Highness, we are.” 

She rolls her eyes at his joke and gives him a stern look. “If I give you my heart again James Barnes, you must promise to never throw it away.” 

Touching her face with a warm hand he kisses her softly, staring deep into her brown eyes. “I promise I won’t.” 


End file.
